


Is this love?

by Cherrydragon26



Category: Arte(Manga)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Realization of his feelings, Sadness, not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 12:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15073304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrydragon26/pseuds/Cherrydragon26
Summary: Leo's changing feelings, that become stronger, the more time he spends waiting for Arte to return from Venice.





	Is this love?

**Author's Note:**

> I saw that there wasn't anything written for this manga, so I decided to do it myself!
> 
> I don't own this manga it belong to it's respective author.  
> Spoilers ahead, if you haven't read the manga of course!
> 
> Enjoy!

At first it wasn't so bad, I worked like I did before you. It did happen that I called for you, and was met with silence. I would remind myself that you are not here and move on. But then every morning I get up I hear nothing. It's silence all around me. After you came into my life, silence was something I rarely had or experienced during the day. Actually I found myself listening to see if you would be coming back. It was stupid I knew, because you won't be coming back until six months pass, and maybe even after that long. I told you, that you don't have to return if you don't want to, but I don't know if that was a right thing to say. It probably was, what am I thinking..... I should get back to work and not think about something unnecessary.

After a while I found myself wanting to see you, to see your skinny figure, your short blond hair, your sparkly eyes and above all your smile. I haven't felt like this since my master died, I never thought I would miss someone so much.... But you have chosen this for yourself. Or actually you did it for me, for my master's daughter, who you haven't even known that much. I suppose that doesn't surprise me, you are too nice, for your own good. You care too much for me, you shouldn't trust me so much, why are you so devoted to me.... I am not worth it, you are too good for me. Why am I thinking like this I should get back to work.

I find you in my dreams, when I think, I think of you, you are always in my mind. Your face distracts me, so go away, I don't need you right now! I don't need your memory! I don't want you to come back, when you weren't even here you bring me so much pain, what would happen if you were here.... I tell myself I am better off without you, that I like the silence, that you are too noisy for my taste. That I don't really like you, I have just chosen you as my apprentice for your skill. But then there is always that part of my mind that says the complete opposite, and I can't shut it up. It just becomes louder and louder, the longer you are gone, the longer I wait for you, it becomes the worse for me. Maybe it would be better if you come back, I got used to you. You got under my skin like a cockroach and you don't let go. Well I won't let you go, I will wait for you. Wait for you to come back. I hope six months pass by quickly...

I am having trouble sleeping. I always wake up with a headache, and I don't know why. Nowadays I always feel tired and exhausted, but I always find the time to think of you. Why is that I wonder? Why do I think of you so much? What does it all mean? What had fascinated me so much, that I can't stop thinking of you? Was it our similarity? Your bravery? Your boldness to stand up to any challenge, and try your best no matter what? Your dream, or your ambition to become an artist even though everyone told you it's impossible? Your hardworking nature or your always optimistic look on everything? The way you never give up because of your stubbornness? Or your stupidity? I don't know, but I still hope you will come to me. That you will come back and everything will get back to normal. That is my wish and I hope that is your wish, too.

I can't get any sleep these days. I went to the doctor, but he told me nothing is wrong with me. But I don't feel healthy. I feel empty. So empty I don't have a drive to do anything. I don't want to get up in the morning, I don't want to go out, I don't want to eat or drink. And at the same time, when the night comes I don't want to sleep, even though I feel exhausted. What is wrong with me? If it's not some disease what is it?

I stopped eating and drinking nowadays. I don't get out anymore and I stopped trying to sleep. I think I know what is the cause of all this. I have wracked my brain for days on end and I think I have come to a conclusion. It's you Arte, you are the cause of everything. I am not sure, how or why, but I know it's your fault! Can you please come back so I could continue on. So I could move forward. I cannot be stuck like this, I need you, come back to me please! But, you are too far away to hear me.... And I don't want to send you a letter. I don't want you to worry about me, and I don't want to make you unhappy, because if you weren't happy there, you would come back. But please, when you finish come back! If you want to.... I don't want to make you do something you don't want. If you want to come back I will welcome you, if not, then I will let you go. But please come back one more time, at least for me to see your face again! That is all I ask!

I can't go on like this anymore. I have lost everything, when you have gone away. Arte, you are my food, my water. You are the air I breathe! Without you I can't do anything. I don't want to do anything! Not even paint! I can't take a brush in my hand because of you. How can a painter live, if he doesn't paint! You have ruined me, Arte! So please, come back to me. I am crying for you. I haven't even cried for my masters death, but here I am crying for you! Arte! ARTE! ARTE!

Am I in love with you?

Are you in love with me?

If you are please, come back to me! I beg of you!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a heart, or a comment! Both are appreciated!
> 
> P.S. The original story of the manga, is not so depressing, that's just me!  
> Please read it! It's really good!


End file.
